Have you ever wondered what your response would be, given a professional massage and offered a happy ending? Maybe you know exactly what you'd have done because you've been here before.
Laying on the table at the massage parlor, completely naked and vulnerable on my stomach with nothing but a small cloth covering. His hands manipulate my body in the most professional way possible, yet my insides turning. Rubbing vigorously at my ankles and up the back of my shins. My entire body starts to decompress. He works his way up my entire body tediously. My legs clinch the first time he passes his hands through my thighs. In a feathering motion he is rubbing from my inner thigh outward. His fingers swipe the outside of my labia just slightly. My legs twitch at what I'm not entirely sure was an innocent touch or not.
With the steadiness of my breath starting to flutter, my mind starts jumping to every classic massage porn video to ever cross my screen. I am no longer only in the present but in the potential moments in front of me. As if he noticed the twitch in my legs, I felt the outside of his pinky finger graze my labia again. This time, swiftly three times. My hips raise off the massage bed, a response triggered by what my body recognized as a tease. At this point, I’m aware he must feel the energy that has shifted in the room. Before my thoughts could trail further I got stuck with a question from this stranger that trifled through my nerves, sending signals of lust for connection and a deep desire for sexual relief. “Would you like me to go further?”
I know exactly what he means by further entirely, yet there's so much mystery simultaneously. I sit with the question for a moment. Contemplating what my response should be. My mind came to a place of decision as he continued to work my thighs. I knew what I physically yearned for, so I prompted myself the question of “why not?”. The only answer to populate had me quickly in decision. My hesitation directly stemmed from societal structures and concepts of conventionality. With that, I knew what my truth was and I felt not only the desire, but the need to speak that truth and fulfill what my vessel fancied. To not fold to the notion of what could be a liberating sexual experience, actually being a sin.
“That is ok” I let out timidly. Not fully prepared for what was to happen next, my body laid ready for acceptance. I mentally allow myself to come back to the present with intent for full body sensual and physical satisfaction. He continues to maneuver a hand on my thigh and another kneading my lower back. Swiftly gliding them to symmetry on my hips I feel my pubic area rise off the table as he tugs upward. I gasp for air as if I'd forgotten to breathe. As he slowly releases my hips, I return to the table and naturally feel myself push my pubis deeper into it. Feeling my lips part as they are pushed into the table, and the wetness that had been building inside starts to seep out. Confident in my decision I feel a fire in my core. My body is clearly communicating its pleasure. The yearning is turning into a deep need inside as he continues to dance his fingers around my body. Every time I feel him get close to my sex, he reroutes to a different location of my body.
Face down, he massages the sides of my breasts as they are pressed to the table. Breaking symmetry he takes three fingers down the spine of my back. As delicate as a flower he meets my tailbone and without me consciously feeling my brain sending the signals to push toward his fingers, I simultaneously lift my cheeks in the air. He had decided this was the moment he would stop being a tease. The moment to give in and fulfill the signaled desire of the external massage of my cunt.
I released a grunt rather than a lady moan. As if to say “finally”. Taken by the experience, I truly can not recall the moments from there to the overwhelming climax that rocked through my entire body. I look down and the top of the masseuse's head is between my legs, kissing gently. I sit up and go to naturally embrace this man who just brought me through this wonderful journey.
He pulls back to signal he did not yearn for the connection to go both ways. Though the energy in the room read something different entirely. The bulge in his athletic shorts also communicated differently. However, I respected his pull back. I did not know this man personally. I walked out of that room feeling high, to my car in awe of the experience. Wondering if it was also his first time along that journey with a client, but not naive enough to let whatever that answer be bother me.
Years later, I have been unable to return to this massage parlor. I now live 1500 miles away from the location and its memory lives rent free in mind. Now, here with you as well, as you ponder what you would do. As you sit, ask yourself “what would be the drive of my decision to indulge or conservatively decline such a service?” Regardless of what you would do, I hope you can appreciate the decision of this at the time, my 21 year old self.. In sexual exploration and discovery. Allow your mind to wonder what your experience would be. Allow yourself to be comfortable with your decision, your journey.. To hold no shame in a place of pleasure. Knowing your body and its capabilities can not only be liberating, but it grows confidence. To open yourself to these experiences can be a dive inward, an opportunity for you to learn more of the beautiful, sensational being that is you. For every story we live, we can decide how we feel about it, write or rewrite our frame of thinking. If you are vanilla, let this be your ok to go vanilla bean.
Comments